The past few weeks have been appointment-filled, information-gathering, worrying and wondering, trying to make a plan kind of weeks.
Where to begin? Well probably most of you who read this blog know that I (Bre) had major back surgery in 2007 and 2008. The result of those surgeries was a spinal fusion at L4-L5 with screws and rods. I have what is called Cauda Equina syndrome – it’s a very rare thing and most people have never heard of it. Well to keep an extremely long story short, let’s just say that I made a trip back to St. Joe a few weeks ago to meet with Dr. Idiculla (the head doctor of my medical rehab team) just to go over my concerns with labor and see what she had to say. Both Tyler and I had questions about what labor could do to strain my spine and how that could affect the hardware, etc. We were surprised that Dr. Idiculla had no worries about my back. She said my spine would be fine, but she had serious concerns about how prolonged labor and the baby’s size might affect my bowel and bladder. (Side note, in 2007 when I was paralyzed, I had neurogenic bowel & bladder – meaning that I had to self cath for almost a year. After seeing a doctor and using a few medicines, we got everything back on track.) Since we have worked so hard over the past 4 years to make sure that my body is healed and continues to be stronger, Dr. Idiculla recommended that we have Madelyn via a C-section. She was pretty protective of me and I really believe it is because she has seen what I have gone through and she cares about me enough to make sure that the choices I make are ones that will prevent any further injury. I also asked many questions about what my options are for an epidural and pain management since my fusion is right at the level where an epidural is given. Dr. Idiculla told us that I have a few options and gave us good information to ask the Anesthesiologists at St. Lukes about when we met with them during the next week. I left that appointment and went home to talk it over with Tyler and think about what our decision would be.
A few days later, we went to one of our regularly scheduled OB appointments with Dr. Driskell, our obstetrician. Everything went well at that appointment as far as measurements and checks go. We had many questions and information to report to her from our appointment with Dr. Idiculla. I think it’s safe to say that Dr. Driskell didn’t expect us to throw that much information at her because early on in the pregnancy, we talked about health history and we had made her aware of my back surgeries. We had been told by Dr. Idiculla about a year and a half ago that I should be ok to carry and birth a baby, but that I might have more back pain than your average person, which is the information we gave Dr. Driskell when we first started seeing her. The only reason we decided to make the extra appointment to see Dr. Idiculla is because I had more concerns and questions as the pregnancy progressed and she asked me to come in for a visit. Anyway, back to meeting with Dr. Driskell… what she told us was that there was no way to confirm the baby’s head and body size because an ultrasound can be off by 20%. Also that she can’t predict how long labor will last and how many stitches it will take to fix my body, should I have any level of tearing. She wanted to see the consultation notes from Dr. Idiculla and talk about options at our next appointment.
Oh! Did I mention that we still had an upcoming appointment with anesthesia to talk about pain management and epidural options? We were to meet with them the next week, but I was curious and got online (BAD IDEA) to read about people who have had spinal fusions and if and how they had an epidural and how that all went. I swear that the most negative things that could have possibly been on the internet all popped up under the search results. Things about how an epidural didn’t work or it wasn’t offered and General Anesthesia (being put completely out) was the only option. This did nothing but worry and scare me and Tyler threatened to have Google blocked on all of our computers.
So, we left our appointment with Dr. Driskell and both had to go back to work immediately. I left feeling worried and scared and Tyler left feeling pretty good about things and felt that a C-section was the answer. That afternoon was long and awful. I called my mom on the way home from work to fill her in and I just started crying. First off, I’m pregnant and hormones are crazy. Second, I’m stressed. And Third, I was calling my mom. Put all of those together and it was a disaster. I was sharing all of the information the doctor had given us and all of the crap I had read online. Then I told her why I was worried and how I felt like we didn’t have any good options. I was mad because I wouldn’t get the experience of natural birth and I felt like I had earned it. I was even more mad that if I had to have general anesthesia that Tyler couldn’t be in the room and our daughter would be born with no one to witness except the hospital staff and we wouldn’t have pictures or that moment of “it’s a girl! Here’s your baby!” I was scared because I’ve had too many surgeries already and I just didn’t want to put my body through it again. When the doctor talked about a C-section, all I heard were risks. Bless my mom because she just listened and tried to talk me through it all. She was crying, too, because there was nothing she could do and she knew how scared and sad and overwhelmed I was. Tyler got home about an hour later and we talked about it all over again. He explained to me what he was thinking and feeling and I cried my way through words to do the same for him. I was just in a “I need to feel sorry for myself and this situation” kind of mood and didn’t do anything but lay in bed and cry until it was time to go to sleep that night.
The next couple of days were better as I realized that a C-section really was the best option for me and that the surgery and recovery were going to be what I had to do in order to keep Madelyn and me the healthiest so that we could go home and be a family as soon as possible.
Christmas came and went and it was finally time for our consultation with Anesthesia. We went with all of our notes and questions for what we thought would be a challenging appointment. We were met with a wonderful doctor who wasn’t scared at all to try a spinal block and listened to all of our concerns. We went through the entire history and what the other doctors were all saying and how we had concerns of what our options would be. The doctor told us that she, personally, would give it a try at the L3-L4 level and see if we could get it to work. She stressed that there are several doctors in the practice and she couldn’t speak for all of them, but that it’s something that could be done. This meant that we have hope to try a spinal epidural and there is a chance that I will get to be awake during the birth and Tyler could be in the room for Madelyn’s arrival – something we weren’t sure of until that day. Now we also know that depending on the doctor and how the epidural goes, that general anesthesia might be the only option, but we are aware of that and have prepared that that is the way it might have to be. That doctor was going to take time to note everything that we had talked about, so that whatever doctor is working the day that I go into labor or we have a scheduled c-section will know what we had discussed.
About an hour after that appointment, we had another regularly scheduled OB appointment. Again, all was fine. Our doctor was out of the office that day, so I saw the nurse practitioner and we went on our way.
FINALLY, a week later (yesterday) we had our most recent OB appointment. We’re going weekly at this point, so there are a lot of doctor’s visits. AND Dr. Driskell was back in the office, yay! So, as usual, everything measures out right and all is well. Then it’s time to talk about all of the appointments that we had been running around to and what all of it meant. She read me Dr. Idiculla’s notes (which were about 6 pages long!) and we talked about what it all meant. After reviewing the other doctor’s notes, Dr. Driskell told me that she recommends a C-section birth. I looked at her and said “Ok, then can we do that?” And just like that, a decision was made. It was a very long process, but I think doctors on all accounts, as well as Tyler and I needed time to think about it and make a decision.
So, there you have it. We’re having a scheduled C-section some time soon. I’ve been waiting for the nurse to call me all day with a date, but I haven’t heard anything yet. My guess is that it will be on January 26 or 27th. Tyler is guessing the 25th or 30th, so we’ll see. Either way, Madelyn will be here very soon!!
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